A Million Ways to Die in the West: Dick and Fart Jokes The Movie


A Million Ways to Die in the West is Seth McFarlane’s latest attempt at making the masses laugh with poop and dick jokes, except that he’s
actually starring in this one. The real question though, is did it actually work?

I will admit first and foremost that I’ve never been the biggest Seth McFarlane supporter as a lot of his joke just hit as slightly too immature
to me. I also never enjoyed Family Guy as much as everyone else seems to. That being said though, I enjoyed Ted and figured that I’d give this movie a shot.

The plot of the movie is pretty simple, Albert (Seth McFarlane) a coward from the west who hates every second of it is broken up with by his girlfriend Louise(Amanda Seyfried) after chickening out on a duel. Albert is determined to win her back and tries to get help from his friend Edward (Giovanni Ribisi) and his prostitute girlfriend who won’t sleep with Edward until marriage because they’re christian Ruth (Sarah Silverman). Meanwhile, rough tough bandit Clinch (Liam Neeson) plans on robbing a town, but doesn’t want his girlfriend Anna (Charlize Theron) harmed, so he sends her to stay in the town of Old Stump in the meantime. Albert eventually finds out that Louise has a new boyfriend, the owner of the moustachery, the suave and handsome Foy (Neil Patrick Harris). In the middle of a particularly brutal bar fight, Albert saves Anna and they get to know each other. They decide to attend the fair together so Anna can make Louise jealous. After quite a bit of mocking, Albert challenges Foy to a duel, but not knowing how to shoot, requires Anna to provide some teaching. The next chunk is very predictable, montage of getting better at shooting while they “subtly” fall in love. One of clinch’s henchman see’s Anna kissing Albert the night before the duel and tells Clinch who is know back from his job. He goes over to Anna’s hotel and kidnaps her. And of course, the movie wraps up with Albert having to rescue his new love from the big bad Clinch and prove he’s not a coward.

You get a feel for how the movie will go by the opening credits as the names pop up, you get some music and some dramatic stills of the west. Of course, by the third name, you’re bored and just want the movie to get started. This kind of sets the pace for the movie, as it just constantly drags its feet with the pacing. Occasionally, it’ll hit
it’s stride and carry you through a good 20 mins before coming to a screeching halt to have Seth McFarlane’s character tell a joke that falls flat that brings the whole
thing sliding to a stop on it’s face.

Pacing aside though, the movie has quite a few jokes that had me laughing. While this movie definitely doesn’t take itself seriously, (Seth McFarlane seems to know just a
little too much about the science and how things work, and many references are made to things that weren’t around at the time of the west, but it’s a comedy so I’ll allow it.), It seems to take itself “too” un-seriously at times. The amount of dick and fart and poop jokes can’t be counted your hands and feet. Some of them are pretty funny, but some just have you starring at the screen and pointing, asking why that was necessary (I’m looking at you sheep scene, you know which one).

The best part of this movie is the supporting cast. Neil Patrick Harris is on point and even though his lines aren’t that particularly amazing, he adds charma and wit to them and you can’t help but laugh. Liam Neeson allows them to do something to him for the sake of a joke that I will never look at him the same way again. The true gem of this movie is all the little references it makes including a Doc Brown visit as well as cameos by Ryan Renolds, Gilbert Godfried, Ewan McGregor that last all of 10 seconds each but are great for that always fun game of “hey that was X”.

Overall, the movie was decent, it was funny and had lots of little funny moments that keep me thinking back and chuckling. While the plot was standard predictable, it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been. The pacing overall though was incredibly poor, and if not for some of the actors, this would have continued to skid on it’s face. Overall though, I would recommend this as a redbox movie to watch in a large group, probably some alcohol involved.

Million Ways to Die in the West 3:6 (Average, nothing really special)

Good cast does not equal good movie

 

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Guardians of the Galaxy Trailer


Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga
Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga

From Wikipedia:
Guardians of the Galaxy is an upcoming American science fiction superhero film based on the Marvel Comics superhero team of the same name, produced by Marvel Studios and distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures. It is intended to be the tenth installment in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The film is written and directed by James Gunn, with a story by Gunn and Nicole Perlman, and features an ensemble cast including Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Lee Pace, Michael Rooker, Karen Gillan, Djimon Hounsou, John C. Reilly, Glenn Close, and Benicio del Toro. In Guardians of the Galaxy, Peter Quill forms an uneasy alliance with a group of misfits who are on the run after stealing a coveted orb.

Marvel’s “Guardians of the Galaxy” will be released to theaters August 1, 2014

Paul Bettany to Portray The Vision in Avengers 2


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Kudos for you who saw this coming (and my condolences to those still hoping that it would be Agent Coulson). Today, it has been announced that Paul Bettany will be playing The Vision in the upcoming Avengers movie: Marvel’s ‘Avengers: Age of Ultron. For those unfamiliar with Bettany, you may have seen him in films such as The DaVinci Code, A Beautiful Mind, and A Knight’s Tale. But he isn’t new to the realm of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe, since he’s also the voice of Tony Stark’s armor AI, JARVIS.

I feel this is a logical approach for introducing The Vision for the Marvel movies, since JARVIS has been part of the MCU since Iron Man 1. Also, Bettany has the chops to pull off the wall-phasing android. If you agree or disagree, let us know in the comments.

Source:
http://variety.com/2014/film/news/paul-bettany-to-play-the-vision-in-marvels-avengers-age-of-ultron-1201090635/

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST – Official Trailer (2014)



The first trailer for the next X-men movie “Days of Future Past” is now out. Kick back and see how many mutants you recognize, because there are going to be a lot. Also, is it just me, or is the song playing something that should have been playing during “Inception”?

From YouTube:
The ultimate X-Men ensemble fights a war for the survival of the species across two time periods in X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST. The beloved characters from the original “X-Men” film trilogy join forces with their younger selves from “X-Men: First Class,” in an epic battle that must change the past — to save our future.

A NUReviews Photo Tour of New York Comic Con 2013

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007-DSCN1721

Thursday, October 10th to Sunday the 14th was perhaps the most exhausting and longest weekend I have experienced so far in my life. Navigating through the crowds of the con and streets of New York was not for the agoraphobic. At least finding a way to the convention in NYC wasn’t a complete labyrinth, just follow the closest cosplayer you see, and you should be at the con in no time. Everywhere you turned your head on the con floor, you’d see a vendors with so much merch of all sorts of media. A nerd/geek’s shopping spree can get as nasty as a Black Friday shopper. It’s almost like an addiction. “I can stop buying swag whenever I want…or run out of money”. Finally, the patience of Buddha is required for the waiting lines for panels. Some people waited for 9 hours in the panel hall just to get into the Walking Dead panel. At least you could kill time reading comics, right?

Nevertheless, New York Comic Con is one of the few times of the year I actually get hype about. Hanging around like-minded friends, engulfed in all things geek is just a swell feeling. Down below you can see the pictures we snapped from the convention. We’ll be releasing a video of interviews and footage we captured later this week. Enjoy.

Click Here if you want to see the Facebook version of the album for tagging!

Some of these pictures might be blurry. We apologize for this. We promise to be mindful of the quality next time we release a photo set.

RoboCop (2014 Remake) Trailer Debut



I’m surprised by how much I like the new look for RoboCop, as in RoboCop himself. The only gripe I have about it is his head is still covered when the visor is off . When the visor is off, it looks more like a suit rather than like a cyborg. See for yourself.

RC2014Visor robocop-without-helmet

And for the movie itself, it’s looking quite action packed, although I’m not sure how I feel in regards to the possible loss of satire of America culture. Fingers crossed though.

Also, here’s the original trailer, for old time’s sake (And yes, that is the Terminator theme being used)

Description from YouTube:
Release Date: February 7, 2014
Studio: Columbia Pictures (Sony), MGM
Director: Jose Padilha
Screenwriter: Josh Zetumer, Nick Schenk
Starring: Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Samuel L. Jackson, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley, Michael K. Williams, Jay Baruchel, Jennifer Ehle, Marianne Jean-Baptiste
Genre: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Thriller
MPAA Rating: Not Available

Official Websites: http://www.omnicorp.com/, https://www.facebook.com/Omnicorp

Plot Summary:
In “RoboCop,” the year is 2028 and multinational conglomerate OmniCorp is at the center of robot technology. Their drones are winning American wars around the globe and now they want to bring this technology to the home front. Alex Murphy (Kinnaman) is a loving husband, father and good cop doing his best to stem the tide of crime and corruption in Detroit. After he is critically injured in the line of duty, OmniCorp utilizes their remarkable science of robotics to save Alex’s life. He returns to the streets of his beloved city with amazing new abilities, but with issues a regular man has never had to face before.

So Bad It’s Good: Godzilla Vs. Megalon


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Sitting alone in my room with a freshly delivered pizza and a half-full liter of root beer, I wonder what my life has become to have wound up watching Godzilla Vs. Megalon.  This classic, campy romp was originally titled Jet Jaguar Vs. Megalon, but poor screen tests pushed Toho to hastily add Godzilla and Gigan to the movie’s roster at the last minute.  Supposedly the whole thing was shot in less than three weeks.  Alongside Jet and Godzilla for this adventure is the scientist who created Jet, the scientist’s more athletic and daring friend, and the scientist’s young nephew.

Even though no one watches Godzilla movies for the human characters, I’ll take a moment to talk about the trio featured in this installment of the franchise.  The English dubbing is surprisingly well done.   It’s clear and not too poorly synced with the lip movements of the actors.  However, I am curious as to why so many young, Japanese men are given the strong, smooth voices of anchormen and radio hosts.  The young nephew on the other hand, is as annoying and unnecessary as, well, any other child character in old Japanese science fiction and action movies.  The most grating part of this movie is the nephew’s high pitched, awkward, half-shouting of the obvious.  He manages to be so annoying that I found myself rooting for one of the movie’s human villains when he full-force kneed this kid right in the stomach.  Twice.

I don't think the helmet helped

After ten minutes I wanted to do this too.

On the topic of the villains, the plot of this movie is like the plot of any other Gozilla movie with the exception of maybe the first film; nonexistent.  Apparently an ancient country sank beneath the waves centuries ago.  This “Seatopia” suffered severe damage from recent underground nuclear tests.  The Seatopian king, an uncomfortably hairy man in a toga, decides the best course of action is to send a diplomatic representative to inform the surface world of Seatopia’s existence and rights as a sovereign nation in a peaceful and respectful manner.  I’m just kidding; he shouts at a volcano until Megalon, a giant, drill-armed, bomb-spitting, laser-shooting beetle pops out and sets off to destroy the world above. I would have been more intimidated by Megalon’s arrival were it not for the fact most of the costume is pretty bland.  The whole thing is one flat color, and the drills always seem slightly askew.  Considering he is the title monster, it would have been nice to see a less half-assed design.

Hey, Megalon, can you open this jar of . . . oh.  Probably not.

He looks like a turd with a horn. A turdicorn, if you will. Poop jokes, yay!

At least now we are getting into what Godzilla movies are really about, monsters and robots and aliens.  Jet’s costume and overall design is clearly a product of its time, the early 1970s.  Jet Jaguar was an adaptation of a schoolboy’s winning character design in a contest sponsored by Toho in 1972.  He has a strong Ultraman vibe, with a silver body and flamboyant bright red accents that make it hard to take him seriously.  This is especially true when his costume bunches up, making Jet look like the world’s first quilt-based robot.  In dramatic contrast to his childish body, Jet’s face features dark, soulless eyes and a mouth fixed permanently into a cartoonish grin of death.  For a children’s hero, Jet looks disturbingly hungry for mortal souls.

Ever felt like there was someone watching you, but no one was there when you looked?  It was Jet.

YOUR MORTAL PLANE CANNOT CONTAIN ME

While the military attempts to stop Megalon with what appear to be left over bottle rockets from a backyard barbecue, Jet Jaguar heads off to the aptly named Monster Island to fetch Godzilla.  Godzilla himself looks pretty sharp.  He has a brand new costume for this film with a surprisingly expressive face complete with uncanny blinking eyes.  His overall design is a bit more child-friendly for this era of films, complete with soft eyes and spines and a more human like posture.  The way he walks, as a result of this new design, is a bit bothersome.  I’m not a huge fan of Godzilla walking around like he’s just some average guy who was out grocery shopping only to look down and realize he’s a 100 meter tall giant lizard with atomic breath.

As Jet and Godzilla begin their separate journeys back to mainland Japan, Gigan makes his entrance.  The image of a diamond appears in a darkened sky, only to be shattered to pieces over and over again in a series of violent explosions from which Gigan emerges.  It’s very subtle.    At least Gigan is a truly threatening creature with dynamic wings, menacing spines, and strong coloring.  His large, sickle-like claws are also impressive, but they tend to end up in anatomically awkward positions.  I was disappointed to not see Gigan using his chest saw though (well, he used it once but it wasn’t spinning).  What’s the point of including him if you aren’t even going to have him use his signature weapon?   That’s like casting William Shatner and telling him he’s not allowed to make overly dramatic pauses after every sentence.

Hey Gigan, can you open this . . . Jesus does nobody have any hands?

Is it cold out, or are those just saw blades on your chest?

The final fight is a long one, packed full of reused footage from both previous movies in the franchise and from this very fight scene.  Jet Jaguar decides the law of conservation of mass is for chumps and “programs” himself to grow to be the same size as Megalon.  The two then go toe to drill in a struggle that evokes images of the most savage of cage fighters; it begins with a flurry of punches and ends up ultimately in an uncomfortably long, homoerotic embrace between machine and beetle.  Eventually Gigan joins the fray to aid Megalon, and Godzilla soon after joins up with Jet Jaguar to kick off an old fashioned two versus two monster brawl.  During the battle Jet gets his robotic butt handed to him over and over while Godzilla does most of the heavy lifting.  Once our heroic pair starts gaining the edge in the fight, things truly get weird in ways only a 1970s Godzilla movie can.  With the help of Jet, Godzilla sets up a full-horizontal, flying kick that belittles the laws of physics.

This is why we have the term "willing suspension of disbelief"

Is he trying to form the Megazord?

While certainly not the highest quality Godzilla film in the franchise, this film is still worth a watch.  Even with all of its faults there is a certain charm in the movie’s silliness and eager youthfulness.  It’s worth watching at least once with a few friends and a couple of beers, simply for the chance to make fun of its lack of sensibility and multiple production shortcuts.  You can even play my new favorite game, “spot the Japanese centerfold posters on full display in a children’s movie” to help get you past some of the lamer parts of the first half-hour or so of the film.  Oh, and of course there is the infamous Jet Jaguar theme song at the end of the movie.  This song echoes across time and space to spread the word of Jet.  It is the lullaby to my sanity and the march of my new life.  A life touched by Jet Jaguar.

(fake subtitles from Mystery Science Theater 3000)